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Neopets Poems

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TUSKANINNY DAY SPECIAL

Tuskaninny Cupcakes
by Fleur_411

Some Neopians here and there,
Well, they really like to bake,
I’ve got the perfect recipe for them:
The Tuskaninny Cupcake!

Add a dash of sugar
And a pinch of sand,
Don’t forget sea water
Or they will be bland!

Maybe throw in 
A strand of seaweed,
And a little bit of barnacle
Is just what you need!

Now, Tuskaninnies love this
Sweet and salty treat,
Their general consensus is
That it’s the treat to beat!

So, maybe for your Tuskaninny's 
Next birthday celebration,
You can make these cupcakes
To their cries of elation!

In fact, they’re really perfect
For this Tuskaninny Day,
Bake and share them all around
All will shout, “Hooray!”

The Market Analyst Twelve
by Mamasimios

There are a group of Tuskaninnies,
The Market Analyst Twelve,
Who give advice to shareholders,
Prompting when to buy and sell

Bertrin has worked for many firms
Analyzing the Neodaq Index,
With his partner Mollish,
They're bullish on buying Stuff-A-Pet

Blue chips are becoming a bit more risky,
According to Shomma and Motris,
But investor confidence is rising,
So says the analyst Nadriss

Genna warns that forward-looking statements
Involve elements of risk,
Yet Jaleb, Poltrice, and Vanteq
Say it's a great time to invest

Volatile stocks like Nakron
Are favoured by Mishi,
Yet more cautious positions
Are advised by Jerriq and Rossi

When we think of Tuskaninnies,
It's not often as studious and bright,
But the Market Analyst Twelve
Serve to explode the stereotypes

Timmy's Stand
by Busgui_blythe

"Little Timmy? I give it a week,"
A red Jetsam had laughed.
The Tuskaninny didn't speak.
He just clutched his cards, his craft.

A golden Eyrie rolled his eyes,
His head held high, beak shining,
Sneering down at Timmy's size,
Calling everything Tim said "whining."

Hoping to make friends if he was able,
Yet the purple Meerca ignored him altogether,
Eating sloppily at the card table,
As Timmy's view of the group came together.

A motherly Kau crooned sickly sweet,
"Aren't you a little young for this, dearie?"
Looking him over like he lived on the street.
He smiled at her, polite yet already weary.

Too important and seasoned 
To acknowledge him,
A green Bruce sat as if alone, 
His beady eyes on cards,
Making completely nonsensical 
Moves on a whim
His eyes, when they met Timmy's, 
Were empty and hard.

The princess Acara's eyes glow sunrise red,
Her whole demeanor flipping on and off,
Unwelcoming then loving, filling him with dread.
Whenever he gets too close, 
She feigns a cough.

A beauiful red Kyrii giggled at him,
Asking if this was some kind of joke,
Because he couldn't possibly win.
Timmy measured his words before he spoke.

"We haven't played a game but,
I've already learned an awful lot.
You're all the same no matter what,
You're not as cool as I thought.

You may think you can scare me away,
You may think that you're masters,
But from what I've seen here today
You're turning this game into a disaster!

This game is not about your age,
It isn't about your species 
Or your status, either.
Being smart and holding in rage -- 
That's how you win, but you've got neither!

I joined this to show Neopia 
What being cool really means!
So, if you think you're going 
To snob me out, just stop.
My name is Little Timmy 
And I won't sneak off unseen!
I may be nothing to you now, 
But one day I'll be on top."

This is what he swore on his first night,
And even though they just laughed,
He's still here to prove that he's right,
Waiting for the day these phonies crash.

Rhymist The Royal Tuskaninny
by Closemycoffin

One regal Tuskaninny
Fancies himself a bard.
He enjoys nothing more than
Reciting poetic works of art.

He writes about his kingdom
That's deep beneath the waves;
He speaks with much expression,
Every uttered word and phrase.

Upon his purple head
He wears -- instead of a crown --
A poet's hat, of course,
That's slightly angled down.

He enjoys basking in the sun,
Though, not as much as being on stage,
Where he recites his favorite poems
With a smile on his face.

My Disdain Toward Tuskaninny Treasure
by Rielcz

Oh, Tuskaninny Treasure,
Why do you mock me? 
Regularly do I get you
From Anchor Management

You, Tuskaninny Treasure,
While you were free,
Your worthless, it's true...
You're no achievement

Why, Tuskaninny Treasure,
Do you stand in my way
Of some useful object,
Like a Pirate Paint Brush?

*sigh* Tuskaninny Treasure,
Near the Money Tree you'll lay,
Because last time I checked
You're not worth the rush

Yes, Tuskaninny Treasure,
I've read you to all my 'pets
Other users have done the same,
There's no point in you now

That Tuskaninny Treasure
Oh, I have no regrets
(And I think you are lame)
For donating you -- ciao!

A Tuskaninny Bedtime Story
by Phadalusfish

“The high, cold cliffs
Of Terror Mountain,”
Aunt Jemmie started,
“Are prone to storms.

“Furious, angry, dangerous
Storms, the kind that trap
Neopets in the icy caverns
Forever.”

We shivered at the thought,
Wrapped out blankets
Tighter, and held our
Hot borovan closer.

"This night was one like that.
The blizzard was so thick
That our hero, Jerezeld,
Couldn’t even see the sky!

The mountain rumbled
And shook as he walked
Along along the cliffs,
And he was terrified!

At midnight,
A great groan escaped
From the Ice Caves
And echoed up the mountain.

Jerezeld heard it, and,
Just like you’re doing now,
He started to shiver!”
She looked us each in the eye.

“What was it?”
I asked.
“What could make a brave
Tuskaninny shiver?”

“Ah,” Aunt Jemmie
Wagged her finger at us.
“Ah, you know what
Made that sound!”

We looked at each other,
Grinned widely,
And shouted, all at once:
“The Snowager!”

“Yes, yes!” Aunt Jemmie cried.
“The Snowager!
And do you know what
Jerezeld did when he heard it?”

We all shook our heads,
“Well,” she continued,
“He plucked up his courage,
And he marched into the Ice Caves.”

“What then?” I asked.

“He marched right up to
The Snowager’s Cavern and,
While his back was turned,
He stole a Negg!”

We all gasped in surprise.
Aunt Jemmie smiled.
“And if you three go to bed right now,
I bet one day

You’ll be as strong and as brave
As Jerezeld!”

Tiny Tuskaninny
by Agedbeauty

Tiny Tuskaninny
Adrift upon the waves
Dreaming baby dreams,
Tail beating a quiet tattoo.

One flipper in the water
And one flipper on his chest,
Both eyes resting, closed,
As the ocean rocks him to sleep.

Quiet little Tuskaninny,
With nary a snore to be heard,
Just the gentle whispers
Of the current with its breath song.

What a peaceful picture;
A sweet melody,
As the tiny Tuskaninny
Sleeps deep on nested waves.

The Cliffhanger Tuskaninny
by Dr_tomoe

Atop the great Terror Mountain,
even past Taelia's shack,
further than the mountain
with the sliding Darblat.

A Tuskaninny awaits with a game
of letters, phrases, and words,
on the highest mountain,
even past the Snowbeast herds.

The game is quite simple.
Just pick a random letter,
and then see if it fits the phrase,
of if you need to pick better.

If you pick wrong once, 
well, I suppose that's okay.
The Tuskaninny will only move up
a few feet of the mountain that day.

Did you pick wrong twice?
Everyone makes mistakes.
He'll just move up some more;
remember, there's no "Z" in cakes.

Three times incorrect?
Now you're just being mean.
Over halfway up the mountain he goes,
the distance that high up must be seen.

Five times an incorrect guess?
That's more than just bad luck,
and now on the edge of the cliff
that Tuskaninny is stuck.

One more wrong answer
and over the edge he goes.
If you needed to work on words,
well, now it shows.

Do you know the phrase?
Well, best answer it fast.
I don't think that Tuskaninny
wants to meet the ground that fast.

Oops, you were wrong again.
There's no "X" in the word Star.
Well, at least now you earned
a brand new avatar.

But, even if he falls, 
the Tuskaninny continues to climb.
He must really love the mountains
to risk it every time.

The Secrets Of Tuskaninny Chefs
by Beedeebee

When you venture to spy 
On a Tuskaninny Chef,
You'd best be well-warned, 
For their famed senses are quite deft.
If stealing their fine recipes 
Was always your plan,
You'll find your wicked plan slammed 
To small bits like minced ham.

For, the Tuskaninny Chef 
Guards secrets with cunning,
Pinch of this, dash of that, 
But ask more and start running!
As cuisine is the specialty of this Neopet
"Do I taste Magenorb?" 
Gets you ejected, sure bet! 

Lurk about their stealth kitchens, 
You're sure to be noticed.
You hope Yolk Beans distract them? 
That chance is remotest!
Don't think you're so wily 
This furtive Chef will betray
Ways to make Codestone Truffle 
Or Slushie Crème Brulee.

Their kitchens are set up 
With traps extraordinary,
If you steal just a berry, 
The results? Quite scary!
Best leave precious secrets 
To this skilled Tuskaninny,
The delicious results 
Will make you cry, "Criminy!"

The Silliest Mutant
by Thisisbutterfly

“Transmogrification”
A word feared by Neopets.
When you open up that potion
You don’t know what you’ll get.

You might spew slime or sprout some wings,
You might grow fangs and claws.
Tentacles could replace your hands
Or grow hairy, freakish paws.

Among these 'pets mutated
Is one that’s out of place.
It’s not because of fearsomeness
And definitely not grace.

Oh mutant Tuskaninny,
You have sleepy, droopy eyes.
You are wide as you are long
Inside your hairless, mustard hide.

You look less like a mutant
And more like a beanbag chair.
You’re so goofy I want to hug you
And pet your stray black hairs.

Perhaps due to your tusks
You always seem to have a smile,
And all the mutants voted you
Most likely to beguile.

You strike fear into no one’s heart,
In fact, you’re kind of sweet.
You’ve changed the face of mutant
And made mutating a treat!


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