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KAU DAY SPECIAL
The Lamentations Of A Wayward Kau
Hello there, I am a Kau!
I'm typing a poem (don't ask me how).
It's about my special day,
Now please listen to what I must say!
Pet days can cause a lot of hype,
But me? I'm not the fancy type.
I've got no wings nor a button nose;
I'm not too popular and it shows!
I cannot fly, I cannot swim,
Some Neopians may think me dim.
But does it matter what they say?
No! I'm a good 'pet, either way!
I may be afraid of the dark,
But I know my way 'round every park!
I was quite the chubby calf,
But if I had a cake, I'd give you half.
I don't have a head of fancy hair,
But, my toys, I always share!
Against enemies I cannot fend,
But I'd always help out a friend.
Some out there may still dismiss,
But pals of Kaus, remember this:
Next time someone disapproves,
Ask, "But, my friend,
Could YOU type with hooves?"
Kau Kau Farm
Come to Kau Kau Farm
Where the dairy is fresh,
And we treat our Kaus
Like they're the best!
The water is pure and clean,
And the grass is always yummy,
And it will always fill up
A hungry Kau tummy.
And here at Kau Kau Farms
Feel free to sample the dairy,
As our delicious milk will impress
Even the darkest of faeries!
And for those who want more
We have organic and soy,
And, of course, we have chocolate milk
For you to enjoy.
But that's not all you can find
Here on Kau Kau Farm
We also have fresh cheeses
Practically straight from the barn!
Soft cheeses in wedges
and a thick cheddar brick,
will go perfect as a snack
or spread on crackers, nice and thick!
So, at Kau Kau Farms,
We treat our Kaus well,
To bring dairy to you
That we hope you find swell.
The Kau Named Kalandra
In the center of far-off Meridell
Is where cardsharps like to meet,
And the game of Round Table Poker
Is reserved for the elite
You'll see Footpad Joe and Chortle,
Friar Asquith and Prudella,
But the one to keep an eye on
Is a pretty Kau named Kalandra
She wears a headscarf and gold earrings,
Her intuition is truly stellar,
And it makes one wonder if
She is related to the Fortune Teller
When the stakes are being raised
And the pot fills up with gold,
Kalandra just seems to know
When to call a bluff or fold
She brings no crystal ball to table,
She keeps her powers under guard,
For this Kau named Kalandra
Sees the future in her cards
All Things Kauvara
On this, the wonderful
Kau Day, we’ve come to celebrate!
This one Kau, Kauvara by name,
We all think is just great!
Now, if you happen to like this Kau
As much as the rest of us do,
I’ve got a few things to tell you about,
They may just make you moo!
A Kauvara Sofa to bring on home,
Or -- if you would prefer instead --
There’s also a Kauvara Bean Bag chair
And a bright orange Kauvara Bed!
If you’ve got a baby around
Try the Kauvara Print Play Pen
And a cute Kauvara Plushie
Will make any young 'pet grin!
And, if Usukis are you thing,
I’ve got the one for you:
A Kauvara Usuki, of course,
And it’s dressed in orange and blue!
It may be you can’t get enough
Of this young, spunky Kau,
So go and visit her magic shop
And prepare to say “Wow!”
Kalora The Red Kau
Kalora the red Kau
is your average tourist,
who loves to travel and
plays Cheat to earn Neopoints.
She wears a see-through visor
and a colourful shirt
dotted by polka dots,
to distract her opponents.
A scheming Kau by heart,
she will not hesitate
resorting to lies if
she stands to gain an edge.
It could be because of
her inflated ego
that she regards herself
highly above others.
Her left ear sometimes twitches
when she is trying to cheat.
Paying attention to this,
you may catch her in the act.
Though her lying skills are good,
she didn't get away with
stealing the tiara of
her friend, Princess Fernypoo.
Please sit down and take a seat,
The lesson has begun,
Today we're making Kau Pies
And they taste the best home-done.
First we need some pastry,
And to roll it out quite flat,
I promise this will taste so good
And be completely free of fat!
We line a little cooking dish
And put our mix on top,
Making sure the corners
Aren't going to just flop.
Then, inside the base, we need some veg,
Asparagus and corn,
Broccoli and carrot,
With a herb leaf to adorn.
A sauce poured all upon it
Will make the pie taste great,
And when it's cooked and ready
It will look super on the plate.
At last the lid is needed,
And this is pastry, too,
But has two little modelled pastry horns
That need to stick like glue.
Then, when it's finally ready,
Inside the oven it must bake,
Please have a grown-up help you --
We don't want to have a mistake!
And when it's golden, crispy brown,
And the smell makes your mouth drool,
Enjoy the Kau Pie we have made,
But don't forget to let it cool!
Most Marvelous Maraquan Kau
She snakes through the water slowly
Slightly shifting her sinewy tail
So she shoots swiftly forward
Surely she is a sovereign of the sea
The Kau blissfully bobs in the brine
And bats her big blue eyes.
She blows bubbles that bounce
Buoyantly up to the bright surface.
She flaunts her fabulous flippers to
Fanfare from a formation of other fish
As she flips fancifully forth with
A felicitous expression on her face.
She smiles sincerely and scrunches
Her snout as she snaps seaweed.
The Kau sings a song sonorously
That resounds strongly through the sea.
How handsome she is and how happy!
Her horns are heavy and hardy
And her hooves are hard as nails --
Honestly, all of her is heavenly.
Dole out disproportionate devotion
Due to this delightful deep-sea damsel.
Do as she demands and desires,
For this day is dedicated to Kaus!
Kau Fortune Teller
I have been expecting you,
for you to hear my voice,
I know what you are thinking...
no, you do not have a choice.
You do not have to listen,
you do not have to heed my call,
but your destined future
is within my crystal ball.
You want to turn away,
yet you want to hear,
how my careful words
waver about your ear.
Look inside the blue mist
and you will see what you need,
that will be your light,
no matter how much you plead.
I am only the medium
to bring one's tale,
after you leave
I will be without a trail.
Do not try to change
that which you read,
for my crystal ball
only tells what you need.
Glow Of The Swamp Gas Kau
O' faerie fire! Ghostly light
That leads my path astray,
Such eerie beacons of the night
My senses doth betray.
Drawn, as though with tether tied,
Toward the gaseous glow,
Heedless of the perils
Dwelling in the marsh below.
Eyed fixated, hypnotized,
Reflect the sight beheld,
Of wispy tendrils swirling 'round --
A field where Kaus once dwelled.
Or dwell they still? Perhaps my eyes
Play tricks upon my mind,
But walk they just as sure of foot
As others of their kind.
Their cloven hooves do mar the ground,
Their breath as warm as mine,
And as I walk among the herd
Our gazes intertwine.
Alive, yet not, absorbed into
The essence of the marsh,
Existing in between two worlds
A fate both cruel and harsh.
What evil deed hath here been done
To curse these creatures so,
What painful past still resonates
In every mournful low?
But dare I not to linger long,
My luck I've pressed tonight,
Dormant shall these secrets lay
Obscured by gaseous light.
Kaubeard The Clumsy Pirate
So you’ve heard of Cap’n Threelegs,
Then of Scarblade and of Jacques;
Do you know of all the pirates
Who live in the Isle of Krawk?
Gather ‘round and let me tell
A different kind of tale,
Of a pirate who just won’t fit in;
A pirate thought to fail.
His name is Clumsy Kaubeard,
Ridiculed on sea and land,
For it’s hard to be a pirate
When you don’t have any hands.
He tries to hold a sword
But his hooves are much too sleek.
Those same hooves are oh-so-sharp;
In boats they’ll spring a leak!
What good’s a pirate who can’t fight
Or swiftly carry loot?
Whatever he may try to steal
Slips out between his hooves.
He looks quite fearsome; none deny
His aura’s rather threatening.
Until one sees his clumsy heists,
And then the laughter’s deafening.
He can’t fit a pirate’s image,
No ship will have him on their crew.
Kaubeard wouldn’t let that stop him,
He knew exactly what to do.
He roams the oceans far and wide
With booties on his feet,
Waiting patiently until, at last,
A pirate ship he meets.
He needs no cannon balls
To sink a ship as quick as lightning.
A crew of one possesses stealth,
There is no need for fighting.
His quiet, tiny boat sneaks up
Beside unknowing ships.
He then removes his booties
And kicks their wooden sides to bits.
So quietly he sneaks away,
Those thieves won’t know what hit them.
Kaubeard gets his sweet revenge
On the crews who would not have him.
Be watchful on the seas,
Kaubeard’s looking for revenge,
On all who laughed and doubted him,
His reputation to avenge.
The moral of this tale of woe
To anyone who’ll hear:
A cover can’t define a book,
Nor a pirate buccaneer.
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