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All In A Day's Work For Lawyerbot
One might assume that Lawyerbot
Is sentimental, soft and mushy,
Just because he has an obsession
With all things called "Usuki"
And though 'tis true he is surrounded
By pretty playsets, toys, and dolls,
Lawyerbot has a more callous side --
He is a lawyer after all
When not writing up his warnings
For the Random Contest, Lawyerbot
Is retained in the service
Of the foul master, Dr. Sloth
Every time you use Sloth's image,
Whether for art or merchandise,
'Tis Lawyerbot who'll hunt you down
To enforce the copyright
You must pay and fill Sloth's coffers,
You might well fund the next vile plot,
But as he collects his liberal fees,
It's all in a day's work for Lawyerbot
One should not deduce emotions
From the smile painted on his face
And remember, no heart beats
Within the Lawyerbot's metallic case
Raise An Usuki For Lawyerbot!
Lawyerbot, you are a riddle,
One that we all try to solve.
Your life one of rules and figures,
But we there's a brighter side to your resolve.
Your exterior might be gray and dull,
But inside, you glow with the brightest light.
Every color in the rainbow describes you,
All to keep your spirit alight.
You love things that we all love,
Collecting the odd and fun.
You play the games that we all play,
You even try to be number one!
Your Usuki collection is unrivaled,
We all attempt to obtain your goal.
We're sure your collection was hard to obtain,
It probably took your whole bankroll!
We bet you can't wait for the Altador Cup!
Whose team will you play on this year?
We're sure it's going to be the winning team,
And when they win, we'll all cheer!
Oh Lawyerbot, now it's your special day,
May the Usukis be plenty
And the goals be true.
We hope your every wish gets fulfilled today,
There is no better Lawyerbot than you!
A Strange Metal Usuki
Deep within the walls
of a store called Usukiland
is the greatest collection of Usuki
dolls in the land.
And while a magical hair
might be the most popular doll,
sitting on the shelf
is the strangest one of all.
It's not the Bat Thing Usuki,
or the one of Mr. Krawley,
it's not even the Snowager reject,
although that is one to see.
No, it's a strange one
that looks to be metal
and looks like it doesn't
go to court to settle.
It carries a briefcase
and a look that's familiar,
and you can't help but feel
this doll is quite peculiar.
On the shelf it sits
as the feeling of this doll
is that if it could, it would
also collect Usuki dolls.
And then, one day it's gone,
purchased to be admired
by a robot that also has a briefcase
that reads 1337 Lawyer.
Together they go
off on a journey,
a Strange Metal Usuki
and the Neopets attorney.
attached, please find a
form: seventeen dash cee
filled out completely
in carbon copy
and full triplicate.
box has been fully
filled in and checked off
and bubbles blacked in
wholly and darkly.
note that it has been
notarized in full
by queen fyora’s
and copied wholly
to all appropriate
persons of import.
as such i demand
as was heretofore
outlined in section
one, paragraph three:
a gallery of
for lawyerbot day.
signed, sincerely yours,
four hundred fifty,
otherwise known as
your fan, agedbeauty.
An Ode To Lawyerbot
Let me tell you about a staff member
Very dapper and clever
Never tiring, he can offer you
Advice for any endeavor
Great at programming,
A real pro with binary
You’ll always find him in
His shining silver finery
A collector of rare Usukis,
He’s always looking for more
He owns plenty of outfits
And accessories galore!
Have a problem?
Lawyerbot can solve the equation
He can find a clause or disclaimer
For any occasion!
An integrated circuitry
Brimming with love and admiration
Proves just how much
From him we draw elation
The team Star and Order
Is one that no one will ever forget
For he and Comastar
Formed a perfect duet!
Whether doing what he does best
As Neopets’ lawyer
Or taking time off
To be a gnome destroyer
His briefcase says it all;
He’s simply l337
And no matter who tries,
Lawyerbot can’t be beat!
Total Poetry Pages : 1984
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