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APRIL FOOLS' DAY SPECIAL
Greetings from Dr Sloth
Greetings, Neopia, this is Dr Sloth.
Now before you decide you should run off,
I have a brief but exciting statement:
Some happy news from the Space Station.
It would seem that one of my Grundo minions
(A very fine fellow, in my opinion)
Was working in the Grundo Reeducation Center
And had a most peculiar adventure.
Bending over a mind control ray apparatus,
The Grundo slipped and dropped some gadgets
Deep into the machine's works,
And it ground to a halt with fits and spurts.
Wanting to inspect the damage
(You must know how I micromanage),
I went and inspected the broken device
And was blasted with a ray of faerie light.
Somehow the Grundo's ineptitude
Had changed the setting from bad to good,
And when I was blasted by the ray,
I saw the error of my former ways.
No longer bent on domination,
I now invite you all to the Space Station.
Any who join me today on April first
Will get some rare stamps; to prove I have reversed.
Farewell from a reformed Dr Sloth.
Okay. Is this thing off?
Ready the traps, you Grundo tools,
Prepare for all the greedy fools.
Tonight You Are the Fool
I caper 'cross your marble floors,
My Wand of Fools in hand.
You are mine and I am yours,
The best jester in the land!
But today's the Day of Fools, my lord,
And gamboling pranks aside,
I need no shiny little sword,
To keep you by my side.
Under my spell you fall, King Skarl!
The trick of my fool-ish disguise.
Become ensnared in the muddy marl,
And become my glorious prize!
Oh look, the day has soundly passed,
For I must entertain once more.
But worry not for that forgetful past,
As I saunter above the floor.
My time will come, quick and cruel,
When you will not be free.
But today I am the happy fool,
So laugh, and wait, and see.
Not a Poem
This is not a poem.
No, really, it's actually a skunk Lupe.
After all it is clearly black and white.
Okay, you're right, it could be a hat,
I think. Well, anyway it's certainly not
A poem, as you can obviously see.
I mean really that's just ridiculous,
Absolutely, physically impossible.
There's nothing like poetry here;
These words do not stir the soul
Or invoke powerful imagery
Or delight the senses; in fact,
They do not make any sense at all.
They are rambling and wobbly,
Without any kind of rhyme or rhythm
And are probably just a way to
Distract you from that dung pie
Waiting hidden in the grass
That you've just stepped into.
Yes, I know it's cruel, but
At least I didn't put salt in your
Tea -- oh really? Someone must
Have replaced it with the sugar then.
Not my fault, but you should
Definitely watch out
For those water balloons -- oh well.
I'm sorry, please don't look so angry.
If you could just put that frying pan down.
I can't help that it's April Fools',
But I can see that doesn't sway you, so
I think I will be leaving n--
A History of April Fools'
The earliest years had the simplest jokes;
A false art conversion fooled so many folks!
The Pant Devil stole everything on the site;
And "Adam's Pet" gave us a fright.
NEOPETZ, extreme with a "Z"!
All the shops gave items for free!
Skateboarders, radical colours, good grief --
After that, we all breathed a sigh of relief.
Some older players feel their faces redden
With embarrassment; they fell for "Armageddon."
Tales of Quiguki, those brave little frogs!
But alas, we never saw more than prologue.
By Year 7, we knew to keep our guards up;
But fifty new species? Too good to pass up!
We begged and we pleaded for the pets to be real,
And the Gnorbu was born! An excellent deal!
Next year was cruel, it caused such commotion.
The "NeoCharge" tax made us cry with emotion!
Losing NP on each page that we view?
Thank goodness, that nightmare never came true.
The next spoof tricked some of the warrior crowd.
The BattleDome is closing! No fighting allowed!
Weapons are useless, and training? Futile.
Had it been true, the protests would be brutal.
We were all spammed by popups of our "Neobuddy"
Who -- to our horror -- was Bug Eye McGee.
This horrible Techo, with eyes bloodshot red.
"Sproggie!" "Chum!" "Arr," he said!
The following joke was one many found cute --
Neoplants were coming! Pets got the boot!
The world was engulfed in vines, so green,
(Although the Stalk Market crash was mean!)
And then we got sticky! We were all slinging pies
Or sliming each other, with Morton G. Firefly.
There have been many jokes throughout the years;
Some end in laughter, and others in tears.
It May Be April Fool's Day, But!
When I awoke this morning,
Oh, I knew just what to do.
I was not scared nor worried,
For I finally had a clue!
I marched up to my front door,
And I slid that lock on tight.
There would be no tricks for me,
Oh no, there wouldn't be a fright!
There'd be no trip to market,
And no pie thrown in my face.
There'd be no window shopping,
And no jokesters on my case.
My pets wouldn't have their fur dyed
An alarming shade of blue.
And they wouldn't have their hands shocked
By an uncouth Blumaroo!
Not this year, not again, no!
This time I'mma play it cool.
It may be April Fools' Day,
But now, I'm no April Fool!
What is this square doing here
of all places, its sharp stiffness
ill-fitting among words flowing?
Well, on any day but today, I'd
say it's an entity that demands
observations profound (as per
usual), like a gift box of poetry
But no, no: on April Fools', the
square is just a square, placed
here to take your attention, ha
Today I learned
a square is much harder to shape
than a circle,
so you're welcome.
A Meepit April Fools'
A thousand spirited Meepits came strolling
into the Haunted Woods one spring day.
They did not need to make a sound,
for their eyes alone kept everyone at bay.
What could they want, what could they need,
the Neopets wondered with high alarm.
Meepits started to gather in uniform to
the Deserted Fairgrounds with no hint of charm.
Each one having such a gloomy presence
that even the zombies hid from their gaze.
As they walked along, a strong chilled fog
followed them, which seemed to put all in a haze.
It was like they put a cryptic spell over
the Woods with a simple blink of their eyes.
Just then a ghost Meepit slowly began moving
to the front pack as others began to arise.
Then something strange happened, a sight rare
to be seen, some Neopets gasped in pure shock!
That ghost Meepit was floating with ease atop
a tall damp moss-covered Halloween Rock.
And he started to hand out tickets to each
and every Meepit waiting patiently in the line!
Some marched to the Wheel of Misfortune while
others hungrily hiked into Spooky Foods to dine!
Sighs of relief could be heard for miles
throughout this thousand Meepit invaded land.
For the Meepits only wanted to take a trip away
from the dark mysterious plots they'd planned.
Once again Neopia was safe (today) from whatever
murky devices their shadowy minds did hold.
This will truly be a day to be remembered,
and an unforgettable story to be told.
I woke up this morning, went to my door,
And found a letter on the floor,
I picked it up, and then I read,
This message from TNT said:
Good morning, Neopians! How are you?
Today, Kreludor is turning blue!
And as for Moltara, it's as cold as ice!
Lutari Island's weather is pleasant and nice!
We found a Meepit knitting a scarf.
(The colour was so ugly, we wanted to barf).
But don't get us started on the Feepit's socks;
They were as attractive and comfy as rocks.
Jhudora decided to do something sweet,
And baked Illusen some bread (it was whole wheat).
We fear Dr. Sloth needs mental help,
For he took the Space Faerie out to kelp.
The Brain Tree got a brain freeze,
Bree lost her Key Quest keys,
A giant Petpet ate Florg,
The racing Poogles lost to a Slorg.
The Weewoos quit their NT jobs,
We have no good employees, for they're all slobs,
And one more thing before we go...
I stared at the letter with eyebrows raised,
For I had forgotten it was April Fools' Day,
I left my door (my pet's yawn was the cue),
But not before I sent it to everyone I knew!
April the First.. and Last?
By Lollypopxz and Rainfable
Today is the April the first.
Such an inspiring date, wouldn't you say?
Oh, don't even remind me of the traditions
And tales that accompany this dreadful day!
Pranks, tricks, mischief, and fools.
Call us grumpy, call us gruff,
But once a year is once too many.
April the first is full of fluff!
It is the one day of the year
When pesky little trouble-makers
May freely go about their evil business of
Annoying sirs, bakers, and candle-stick makers!
Now, fellow ladies and gentlemen,
Do you not agree that this little custom,
Which has been ongoing tirelessly for years,
Should come to an end, hmm?
I despise it,
You detest it,
We hate--*poem no longer valid*
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS'!
April Fools' Day!
April Fools' Day is almost here,
So let's all give a great big shout and cheer
As Neopets of all ages
Gather 'round to toggle with pies to cages,
And play their tricks on each other.
April Fools' Day,
A day of laughter and tricks
(And for some despair),
As they're pranked and hoaxed,
And laughed at and coaxed
Into laugh-arousing gimmicks.
April Fools' Day,
A joyous day,
The only day on which Neopets
Get away with their cons.
From simple jokes,
And hung upside-down by a rope
To big tricks with pulleys,
And sounds, and making others
Feel like dopes.
So let's make sure
This April Fools' Day,
We all play a little joke.
But beware, a trick gone far,
Will be a reaction bizarre...
HAHAHA!!! Got you!!!!
Happy April Fools' Day!
I believe you have read the title,
And that is why you are here.
To find new ways to fool a friend --
So come closer, strain your ears.
Do you want to learn new tricks,
That should -- and would -- work?
That will not backfire on you,
Or have some unexpected quirks?
Well, have no fear, the answer's here:
Just scroll down and see.
I have a list of tricks for you,
(Though you can't use them to fool me.)
I know that you want me to start,
So be patient -- I will soon.
Before you go on reading,
Make sure you're alone in the room.
You do not want your dear Petpet
To sneak up along the way
And destroy your chances of fooling it
On this quite amusing day.
So here's the revelation of my first trick,
Specially from me to you:
You are reading it now, my friend,
You see, you have been fooled.
I do not have a list of tricks,
I have just but one.
But this trick has been played on you,
So now I'm left with none.
This very poem is my trick,
But thanks for reading anyway.
But be sure to go fool your friends,
And Happy April Fools' Day!
The first of Eating comes and goes
With sighs and laughs and tricks galore.
I wish to hide myself from all the madness,
Attached, as it were, to my sanity:
Not in the Haunted Woods,
Where Edna's tower looms
And the old Zafara witch
Masquerades as a dark faerie.
Not in the Lost Desert
Where, at Coltzan's earthy shrine,
Spirits spring up at unwitting Neopets
As if they were the old departed king.
Not on the Space Station
Where all the Grundos
Pretend to be enslaved again
By that vile Dr. Sloth.
Not in Shenkuu
Where the noble Gnorbu
Who keeps the Lunar Temple
Bruits about that Kreludor is falling.
Not in Neopia Central
Where the cries from the streets
Share the glee (and misery)
Of a world's worth of pranks.
And certainly not on Mystery Island
Where I can try to trade a Pink Paint Brush
And get offers of Super Toy Sailboats
Every day of the year.
Last night something changed,
Neopia was different
Though just another morning.
Faerieland turned back
Seas turned to land,
Land turned to seas,
The colour of the sky
To royal purple.
Chombies don't exist.
Krawks don't have a head.
And Draiks have morphed away
Into Uni lookalikes.
Where are your hard-earned trophies,
Your high scores
Avatars and Neopoints?
What's happening here?
Your pets are green
And yellow, red and blue.
What happened to the brand-new
Brush you used just yesterday?
The boards have crashed;
Your shop closed up.
Guild? Erased from
Neomail is off the list,
Your deposit bank is
What is this day?
Your eyes deceiving you?
Neopia's just crashing down.
Aisha April Fools'
There is a small white Aisha
who lives in the land of Tyrannia.
On good old April Fools' Day,
he causes quite the mania!
He puts buckets of water
on the top of a barely open door.
Then when your head gets soaked,
he busts out laughing on the floor.
He hands out fake sticks of gum
to unsuspecting Unis around.
And when they realise what he did,
he is nowhere to be found.
He tells many very funny jokes
to his closest Grarrl friend.
They giggle and smile all day long,
wishing April Fools' wouldn't end.
However, when the day is over,
the white Aisha becomes quite nice.
But when you see his lovely smile,
remember on April 1st to think twice.
Total Poetry Pages : 1984
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