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Neopets Poems

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The Wind Up Dr. Sloth Toy
By Tiptoeboo

In the shop of wondrous things,
Items made just for joy,
Lives one plaything that is different --
Beware the Wind Up Dr. Sloth Toy.

He sits on the shelf, meek and quiet,
Observing through the slit red eyes
That stare around the room,
And an evil plan he starts to devise.

As the shop shuts its wide red door
And darkness settles all around,
The toy turns his wind-up key,
Whilst making not a single sound.

Furtive, the miniature green Dr. Sloth
Climbs down from the wooden ledge,
Slips through the gap in red brick,
Making for the leafy hedge.

Suddenly with a clunk and a twitch,
The Wind Up Dr Sloth Toy falls to the floor.
His key stopped turning, though next time
The world will be his for sure.

The Mutated Pear?
By Fatimarockz1223

On a rainy day, I sat down and thought
About all the wonders in the world...
Like faeries, Neopets, and burgers of snot.
I picked up a book, and in my chair I curled.

As I glanced at the cover, I was astounded!
I looked around in fright
And opened the book I had found,
But the only words on the front page in sight

Were "The Book of Evil."
I flipped around in the book,
Stopping at a few that looked medieval,
But on one page I was hooked:

An entry about Sloth.
They said he was cruel and ugly.
To me, he was neither, nay, both.
On the page, he looked regal and smugly,
but one thing that was not on the page --
And trust me, I looked over a lot --
Was his species and age.
To me he looked like he had a soft spot.

That question haunted me for hours --
What was that menacing thing?
Was it a Chia? A Chomby? A mutated flower?
I thought about this, 'til my sanity hung on a string...

But seriously, though, what is he?!
Suddenly I was perplexed.
What if that he was a she?
What if he was an Acara like me?
A hundred times more, I scanned over the text.

Not a thing, not even a clue.
I asked around on the boards;
People thought I had gone screwy.
They said there was no record.

Oh, answer my question, please!
And what is wrong with his hair?
This question cannot be left unappeased!

Yes, I know he is evil,
But what is he?! I will not rest
Till I know about this weevil.
I shall stay here writing no more,
I shall be waiting for my answer to be addressed!

Who's Afraid of Dr. Sloth?
By Mamasimios

Who's afraid of Dr. Sloth?
I suspect the masses -- they are not.
He is a villain ripe to mock,
What with that hair like celery stalks.

Are you afraid of Dr. Sloth?
With skin as pale and green as moss
And fragile fingers, thin and soft.
He seems not frightening, by my troth.

Is aught afraid of Dr. Sloth?
Wrapped in masses of black cloth,
He looks less evil than merely goth,
With a sullen sneer to top it off.

Are Grundos afraid of Dr. Sloth?
Held in the Space Station, high, aloft,
And forced to aid in failing plots
By their proximity are they caught.

Are Neopians afraid of Dr. Sloth?
Or do they only give him a thought
When readying their paper for a swat
At the Dr.'s likeness, made of sock?

Am I afraid of Dr. Sloth?
Though little mischief has he wrought,
I suppose that I would rather not
Have him read this, my private thoughts.

Villainous Glory
By Antediluviant

A menacing figure
Stands in the shadows.
As green as envy,
As towering as a castle.
He waits in silence
For his chance to strike.

His mind churns
With visions of domination.
He will have order.
Cloaked in robes as black as night,
He plans his attack.

His minions march by the thousands
Into the streets,
Carrying flags of green and black.
Images of his face
Cover every corner.

He emerges from a moment of thought
And strides into sight.
He parades along the avenues,
Followed by a chorus of cheers.
Crowds erupt into chants of
"All hail Sloth!"

The Immortal Doctor
By Tamia_silverwing

Floating in the dead of space
(Rolled up in its black embrace)
A single tiny shape drifts by --
No fire in this star lights the sky.
Kept inside a trinket small, I
Sit and wait upon my call.
Left for dead or thought asleep
(Or parodied or mocked in cheap
Tabloids or comics by whoever
Hears my name and gets too clever.)
Foolish creatures, all of you,
One day soon I'll take my due:
Revenge upon the world below,
Every pet that breathes and faerie that glows.
(Vain, you think me? Think again.
Entrapped and powerless, but even then --

A Letter to Frank Sloth
By Small_cow

Where are you Sloth?
Have not you seen
the state in which space
has recently been?
The Kreludans, Virtupets,
and Grundos run free!
It's almost as though
they have forgotten your creed!

I will not stand forth,
you have to make them see
the treachery and agony
that I know you can be.
I know you are planning
and I know that you're keen
on laying low even though
your morals aren't clean.

We will rise again!
They think that they've seen
the last of the terror
that we can bring...
However, dear Sloth,
I know that you're mean,
and I know we can make
quite a nasty scene.

So I must urge you,
in closing it seems,
that your status as evil
must be redeemed.
I will stand by you
and your wicked eye's gleam,
as long as ruling Neopia
remains your dream.

The Neopoet, on Sloth Appreciation Day
By Autotune

Today is a fine, fine day.
A perfect day for the
Neopoet, made even
More perfect
With a perfectly delicious
Blueberry Jelly Doughnut.
Anyway, the
Weather today is
Simply marvellous.
The sky is clear; birds
Are chirping their happiness
Up in the trees, as the
Poetically inclined
Would probably suggest.
Anyway, today is a
Beautiful day
Even Dr Sloth would
Really! Who doesn't like
Sunshine and daisies?
Nobody, that's who,
And Dr Sloth certainly
Isn't nobody.
What he is
Is a downright
visionary genius,
A brilliant strategist,
A cosmic hero of
Epic proportions...
The Neopoet would like
Everyone to know
That Dr Sloth
Isn't nobody.
And you certainly don't
Need some trip to a
"Mind Control Lab" to
Appreciate him.

From Sloth to Keetra
By Chocolate_lover67

Dear Miss Deile,

I hope you remembered it's Sloth Day today,
So ring up your team and get ready to play.
I deserve nothing less on this day each year.
I'll be on the sidelines, all ready to cheer.
Although there's more than that, you will see,
And do not forget how there's tax you owe me.
(Maybe I'll be nice and give you a discount,
You owe me 10,000, but I'll cut the amount.)
And since it's my day, please bake me a cake,
I'm quite fond of vanilla, make no mistake.
I hope I get presents all wrapped up in pink,
Marked with my name on the side with green ink.
I tear off the paper while yelling, "Hooray!"
But if they're substandard I'll toss them away.
Cupcakes and ice cream I love very much,
With lots of frosting and sprinkles, like such.
My wishlist consists of Usukis and pie,
Things I love more than my spaceship up high.
Oh, and one thing before signing my name,
Do make sure you win your Sloth Day game.

Best regards,

Dr. Sloth
Neopia's #1 Villain and five-time winner
of the Most Charming Smile Award

Sloth Appreciation Day!
By Tanikagillam

O Sloth, how I love thee!
You are more beautiful,
Than the Fountain Faerie.

O Sloth, how I love thee!
You are much more grand,
Than a Bottle of Black Sand.

O Sloth, how I love thee!
You are more terrifying
Than the Darkest Faerie.

O Sloth, how I love thee!
I sing your praise,
I love how your eyes blaze.

O Sloth, how I love thee!
You are almost as appetising
As a plate of Pumpkin Cookies.

O Sloth, how I love thee!
You are our leader, our boss,
It doesn't matter that you don't floss.

O Sloth, how I love thee!
I'm just writing this to say,
Please, please don't sludge me!

Oh, Old Frank's at It Again
By Alagfalaswen

Oh, old Frank's at it again,
A Sloth in name, but not by nature.
Another effort, perhaps in vain.

Who know how many plans have lain
Within the mind of that impressive stature?
Oh, old Frank's at it (again).

Our troupe of heroes groan in pain
As we, hushed, discuss this conjecture:
'Another effort, perhaps in vain?'

Sound the alarms, come shine or rain,
Put out the news, through shout or whisper,
Oh, old Frank's at it again!

With persuasion, Dr. Sloth might deign
to share his plans, we must try harder.
Another effort! Perhaps in vain.

A master plan, a world to gain,
For genius doesn't accept failure.
Oh, old Frank's at it again;
Another effort (perhaps in vain).

Ode to Sloth
By Calicolupe

Oh Sloth, you are most cunning
(Though it never seems to help).
Your wicked ways entrance us all
(With your uncanny ways to fail).

Your complexion ever-charming
(If you like green bald things),
And your smile shivers my spine
(See a dentist, darling).

For one so bold, you are so sweet
(Long past rotten, I'd say!).
Kind and thoughtful of your enemies
(Who always get away).

The technology you hold
(You call that technology?)
Is always top-notch
(Never tested, first try free!).

Metallic gleams, wheels, and cogs,
(None in your mind, alas)
Never have a hitch
(Just ignore the time, last...)

Oh Sloth, your villainous ways
(Are quite nice to everyone)
Make you smile so large
(Even when you're on the run).

We bid to you a most Slothy day
(Please sleep through it)
And wish you a lovely year
(May your teeth be full of green grit!)

From a Fan
By Carrotbreath

I'm not good enough:
I'm not brave or tough,
At Your sight I quake,
But please my service do take.

Desired traits I do lack,
But will always have Your back!
For admiration I do own,
In my mind, You're on a throne.

Effortlessly You radiate power,
To which all Neopia should cower,
Hair always perfect in place;
Your recognition is what I chase.

Sloth, please do consider me,
As a result fill my life with glee;
Awaiting Your call is my plan,
Sincerely, Your Number One Fan.

The Shape of Sloth's Ego
By Yoyote

I'm rapt,
enthralled in
myself. My
famous name is
Dr. Frank Sloth.
Oh, doesn't it just drip
with awesomeness!
Pitiful Neopets tremble at my name.
I've enslaved Grundos in deepest shame.
I've been defeated twice, but I'll rise again.
My next domination plan will not be in vain!
I've mined, I've practised, I've built machines.
I will laugh in the centre of catastrophic scenes.
All fear my laugh, my stupendous, terrible laugh!

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