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The First Gormball Championship:
A Concise History
I request but a moment of your time, kind listeners,
So gather 'round me:
It's the Annual Gormball Championship, you see,
And (as I'm sure you'll agree) it would be fun
If, together, we had a little run
Down memory lane, to seven years past,
So now we'll recall the inauguration and first cast
Of the yearly Gormball Championship
(Fear not, gentle listeners: the dull parts, I will skip.)
I will begin my tale without delay:
Seven years ago, on the twenty-third day
Of the month of Gathering
In a green field a group of friends were playing
The noble sport of Gormball
In championship-style, to see who was best of all.
Brian the Scorchio seemed unusually terrific:
His throws were superb, his accuracy scientific,
The Gormball wouldn't splat, he was so prolific!
And Ember and Gargarox and Farvin
And Zargold and Ursula and Kevin
Observed in awe as he won round after round.
Suddenly wary Thyassa said, "What's that sound?"
And all looked at Brian, and saw with surprise
The movement that would lead to Brian's demise:
His eyebrows were twitching so fiercely
That they were hitting the brim of his visor -- really!
And the pit-pit-pit and the pat-pat-pat
Of Brian's eyebrows lifting and hitting his hat
Engendered in the others a sudden hostility:
They had seen through Brian's uncanny ability.
"He's cheating, he's cheating!" was the general cry,
"His eyebrows twitch! They wiggle! They itch!
There's only one reason why they would do that,
Only one reason why the Gormball doesn't splat!
The Gormball is rigged! The Gormball is rigged!"
Brian dropped his head in his hands, crying, "Why!"
"Why must my eyebrows twitch so uncontrollably?
Yes it is true, I was using a rigged ball,
But I only wanted to impress Ursula (what a doll)
I admit it, I admit it, I cheated and it is wrong,
Will you hate me forever, or can we still get along?"
The others gathered and held a low conference
While Brian stood and watched in silence.
After a long moment there was a murmur of assent:
They'd decided what would be Brian's punishment.
"We have decided, Brian Twitchy-Brows, upon your fate,"
Said Thyassa the Chia, after the long wait.
"We will allow you to stay with us after all.
But first on your head we'll splatter this rigged ball!"
And with one fell swoop of his chubby Chia arm,
Thyassa tossed the Gormball at Brian, to his alarm,
Too fast, too soon, for Brian to move.
Splat! The Gormball exploded into a watery mess
(I can't decide if the punishment was just, I confess.)
"Ouch! That hurt! Now this is just cruel!
Now pretty Ursula will think me a fool,"
Said Brian morosely as he wiped off his face
And reflected gloomily upon his sad state.
But, moments later, he found himself in the embrace
Of not just Ursula, but Ember and Farvin,
And Thyassa and Zargold and Gargarox and Kevin:
"Don't worry, Brian Twitchy-Brows, about disgrace,
In our hearts and field you'll always have a place;
We like your twitchy eyebrows and your visor too;
Frankly, it's not Gormball without cheating by you."
"Thanks, friends," said Brian, taken aback,
Indeed, he wasn't sure quite how to react,
"But I've ruined your Championship and Gormball!
Won't you be angry with me at all?"
"We'll declare Thyassa winner of this competition,
He was runner-up and we know his frustration
At not winning will be transformed to elation
When he's given first at the Gormball celebration."
And so was the scandalous affair resolved
Quite to the satisfaction of all involved.
Needless to say, Brian threw out his visor
And promised never to cheat from here on after,
Though as he said it his eyebrow gave a twitch
But later said he'd been bitten by a Zytch.
Whether there is truth in that, I'll let you decide;
Let's head to the field where Gormballers reside
And watch the game on this beautiful day
To see if twitching eyebrows their masters betray.
Rainbow Fountain of Faerieland
Falling droplets, sparkling depths,
A fountain in the mist.
Purest water, aqua blue,
Magic in its midst.
Its power held by gentle soul,
The Fountain Faerie fair.
In the fountain she doth dwell,
Water flowing o'er her hair.
Fountain lies on highest cloud,
Its powers known to all.
Simple yet so beautiful,
Most who visit see the same:
They find naught but turquoise depths,
Magic's not for free, you know!
For me, the fountain's different, though,
It's not the shade of blue.
Rainbow water doth cascade,
A thousand splendid hues.
Just last week, the faerie came,
And asked for help from me.
I answered Fountain Faerie's quest,
The Rainbow Fountain's key.
And now its magic is revealed,
Reward for help I gave.
The faerie says she'll paint my pet,
One colour I have craved.
Alien Aisha, Pirate Lupe,
Maraquan for my Draik...
I've got myself a problem, here!
Which, oh, which one should I take?
Peophin of Silver
A silver whisper flickers past,
This glimmer, hardly seen.
A vision on a wave's soft break,
So rapid, silken sheen.
So quickly doth the surface break,
The spray shall lift and spin.
The cobalt waters torn apart,
By sheen of silken fin.
Sublime and streamlined does she rise,
From ocean's swirling deep.
A creature of such silver shine,
Has woken from her sleep.
Fins will cut the glassy blue,
Long tail guides her way.
A vision of perfection here,
Within the ocean's spray.
The silver glow of shining form,
A gleam she can't contain.
Droplets scattered all around,
With flick of her mane.
Each tendril soft, it coils down,
This Peophin, so fair.
Circlet rests upon her crown,
And jewel glows right there.
A moment's rest, she'll glance around,
The surface seems serene.
The seconds pass, she dives below,
Her memory, silver sheen.
Lonely Little Forgotten One
A solitary shadow cast
In a room of vibrant things.
A lonely little forgotten one
Sitting upon a dusty shelf
Hidden from the sun.
Your wings once grand
Crumbling slowly --
Lost is their once glassy sheen.
Oh, lonely little forgotten one,
How hard for you it's been.
Your tail is a pitiful sight,
Wrecked and ruined, it is.
The spikes that once adorned
This lonely little forgotten one
Are lost, magnificence gone.
Hazel speckles once so bright
Dulled and coated with dust.
What has happened to you here,
Lonely little forgotten one,
To make your beauty disappear?
You've been left here far too long!
It's time to throw you out.
Some better ones of you I'll bake,
Ruined little forgotten
Mint Chocolate Draik Cake.
Drym Shaped Frosted Sugar Cookie
Though sweetly laden on the top
With glossy coral frosting,
The Drym Shaped Frosted Cookie is
A treat that's rather daunting.
It's hard to judge its character.
The Petpet Drym is naughty.
It's curious and mischievous.
Its mind is rather dotty.
The Drym is fond of digging holes
In search of shiny objects.
It hunts for them all day and night.
For sparkly things it's lovesick.
It's also fond of burrowing
Through snow that's packed quite firmly.
It loves to scrape and scratch through ice.
The Drym is rather squirmy.
No wonder that I hold this treat
With thoughts of dropping, running.
No telling what this sweet baked treat
Will do to my intestines.
The Petpet Drym will drill a hole
Through concrete like it's jelly.
I wonder how this cookie will
Speed through my hollow belly.
I warily take one small bite
And chew with modest terror.
I swallow and wait to see
If I have made an error.
But nothing happens! I rejoice
And finish off the pastry.
Delightful is the Petpet Drym!
Its cookie is quite tasty!
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