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Neopets Poems

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By Larkspurlane

Running into her in a dark corridor
In the depths of the Citadel,
It took them a concerted effort to
Beat back the horror that gathered
On their frightened features --
A strange one, she was, a witch, some said.

There was something wild in her eye,
Something of steel in the set
Of her toothless mouth, something of
Old bone in the worn tusks,
Something of ruin in the wrinkled face,
Something of magic in the fear that pressed
At their hearts.

They should have understood the signals,
Should have seen that ruin was near
That her old hands had woven carefully
The threads of their plots --
Instead they gave a frightened, pitying glance
To the one who pitied them
And passed her by
As she smiled a toothless smile
And, crooning softly,
Ruthlessly orchestrated their fates.

By _Razcalz_

Moehogs gather on the field,
Beneath the topaz sun,
Preparing as the dust clouds swirl,
A game compared to none.
Tusks are gleaming, swishing tails,
Two Moehogs forward trot.
Facing the other with small grins,
At signal, down they squat.

Competition at hill's base,
A challenge; Moehogs brace.

The rules are simple, to begin:
Contest of snorting loud.
Whoever snorts the loudest wins,
While wakening dust clouds.
Dust rises higher with each huff,
Indeed, a bizarre sport.
Giggles from the gath'ring crowd
Drowned out by noisy snorts.

"Snort! Snort! Snort!" they blow,
As puffs of dust do grow.

Other Moehogs now join in,
Stubborn hooves do scrape.
Air is filled with huffs and snorts,
Dust clouds of changing shapes.
Who is winning? Hard to tell,
Now dirt obscures all view.
Blowing noises louder still,
As churning dust accrues.

Concealing cloud leaves some bemused,
While others watch, amused.

Surrounding pets is giant cloud:
A cloud that chuffs and huffs.
"Stop!" a Moehog cries at last,
Jumps up and shouts, "Enough!"
No longer do the Moehogs snort,
By choking dust, noise marred.
Emerging are the coughing pets,
Didn't I tell you it's bizarre?

Brave Moehog Explorer
By Wicked_summer

Far beneath the wind-swept sands,
No light and no sound;
Long-forgotten desert lands
Lie soft, beneath the ground.

A pebble rolls, and silence breaks,
No more like soundless song.
A wandering explorer makes
Mistakes; but not for long.

How valiant his noble eye!
How shining black his hoof!
His snowy tusks, his velvet fur,
A lad in bloom of youth.

He holds his torch, steadfast;
Likewise, his coiled rope.
No tremor fit, no nervous blast;
Not one shiver. Nope.

Heroically he inches forward,
And bravely gnaws his lip.
Shadows dance across the walls,
A strange half-dreamlike trip.

A casket lies before him there,
All cased in gold and shining;
Remnants of what once breathed air,
And enjoyed fine dining.

Bravely, he pokes the grave,
And scurries back, eyes wide.
For he hears the hungry call
Of what can no more be denied.

A voice that cares not for his youth,
Or dark, or light, or stains;
A voice that sinks through silence deep,
And lovingly calls, "Braaaains."

How dashing is his noble eye!
(And his hooves.) Brave Moehog boy!
No darkling beast can terrify;
His frantic run, a cunning ploy!

... Maybe?

00 Hog
By Hey_there_im_new

Smooth and suave he takes his seat,
Knowing he can stand the heat.
Calculating, cold, and cruel,
Knowing that he is no fool.

Crisp and clean he cuts the deck.
Raise an eyebrow, see them sweat.
Stiff and stern, stare them down,
Never smile, only frown.

Swift and sure he deals them out,
Knowing that there is no doubt,
Dapper, dashing, he's the best.
Easily he'll beat the rest.

Bold and brash he makes his move,
Flippantly, he's in the groove.
Greedily he sees them squirm,
Wriggling like a lowly worm.

Suddenly, someone calls "CHEAT!"
Everyone is on their feet.
Faces turn, surprised, toward him,
00 Hog's own face looks grim.

Time stands still as cards are flipped,
It seems the master may have slipped.
Lo and behold, the cards prove true!
It seems the master's luck is through!

Disgustedly he turns away.
Disinterestedly he plays.
The round is done, he's lost his seat,
Guess he couldn't take the heat.

Grieved and glum, his pride is crushed,
Knowing he just bit the dust.
But never fear, wait just one day.
The master will be back to play!

Fragile Moehog
By Mamasimios

Fragile Moehog made of mucus,
Slimy, slippery pet of snot,
Dripping off in dribbling columns
Like candle wax drizzle begot.

These pools of nasal exudations
Round your hooves, still yet confused
With legs and torso, weeping, seeping,
Unclear what remains and what is oozed.

Your eyes are bright with hidden knowledge,
A cryptic smile lifts the corners of your mouth.
Your tail raised high with pride, elation,
All the while your essence is leaking out.

I marvel at the regeneration,
How you maintain your solid form.
From what wellspring spew the new secretions?
With what perpetual goo are you reborn?

Does your owner dare to hold you
In arms protective and devout?
Or is your nature too insubstantial,
A fragile balance 'twixt within and without?

Oh, fragile Moehog made of mucus,
Slimy, slippery pet of snot,
How I wish to know your secrets,
The withheld wisdom you have got!

Judge Hog
By Nut862

Watch out! Stand back! See that cloud of dust?
That's Judge Hog chasing down the unjust!
Watch him leap! He nearly touched the sky!
Does that cape give him the strength to fly?
Look at that villain run -- he's got no chance!
Look at Judge Hog -- what a heroic stance!
At last our hero's caught the thief by his tail!
Here are the stolen goods; now take him off to jail!

Neopia's defender has saved the day again!
This brave Moehog is always on call when
Dastardly villains show their mean faces
Skulking about in unsavoury places.
No thief wants to meet him on a dark night;
His massive muscles would win any fight.
You need not fear if by law you abide,
But you're done for if you're not on his side!

Judge Hog was once the same as us,
So if you'd like to earn his trust,
Go to his headquarters for a mission.
Your heroic career will soon have begun;
You'll fight nasty crooks and win acclaim,
And though you'll never match Judge Hog's fame,
You'll be doing what every true Neopian should,
For this world needs all our help to make it good.

Prisoner One
By Jayo289

Clip Clop, Clip Clop,
The prisoner has awoken now.
Never uttering a single word,
Barely moving a furrowed brow.

Clip Clop, Clop Clip,
A look of despair upon his face.
Chained up far away from sight,
Lacking any signs of grace.

Clip Clip, Clop Clop,
An enigma among fallen heroes.
Was he captured, or did he betray?
Did he even try to oppose?

Clop Clip, Clop Clip,
Atop his head a matted mane
Wavering in the chilly air.
The shimmering blue has been slain.

Clop Clip, Clip Clop,
Withered wings and broken tusk.
A constant look of hopelessness,
Blending in with the dusk.

Clop Clop, Clip Clip,
Cellblock is his only purpose,
Circular pieces, a chequered board.
No hopes or dreams, his life is aimless.

Clip Clop, Clip Clop,
The prisoner has awoken now.
Never uttering a single word,
Barely moving a furrowed brow.

Tale of the Halloween Moehog
By Cookybananas324

He revels in the fleeing pets
Who were tricked by his disguise.
See his cunning costume,
Look into his wicked eyes.

The Halloween Moehog
With a hat and some black cloth
Has dared to impersonate
That most feared villain, Sloth.

With gestures bold he threatens
Other Neopets with mutation.
He threatens their beloved homes
With spoil and devastation.

Oh dear, it seems the Moehog's
Bitten more than he can chew,
For it seems a taller figure
Now strides into his view.

Doctor Sloth will not stand for
Such a cheap imitation,
And with a single tossed potion
Inflicts transmogrification!

Once Halloween, now mutant,
The Moehog departs in horror.
A lesson learned, he never shall
Dress up as Sloth anymore.

(Judge Hog, he hears, is less vengeful.)

A Petpet Battle for Moehog Day
By Twocents

They have trained long and hard
To give all onlookers an amazing show.
'Fore every Petpet battle, Flash shines his shell
And Bacabro tames his afro.

Such a fascinating disco Moehog,
Who directs such flashy battles.
His Turdle is the lead of the show,
Fearsome enough to make bones rattle.

Watch his flower-tipped tail swish,
A subtle clue to his emotions.
For Moehog Day, Bacabro's show
Is sure to blow away all preconceived notions.

On this most special of occasions,
They have created a brand new trick.
In the next Petpet battle,
You'll see his Turdle's supersonic kick!

He'll swim through the air,
As per Bacabro's instructions,
Dazzling all who can see,
It'll be quite the production!

Crane your necks,
As Flash goes into a high dive!
Bacabro is shouting and waving
As the crowd screams, "Will he survive?!"

In an instant, your Petpet won't withstand
Such a brilliant, grand attack!
Bacabro and Flash will dance
As you and your Petpet cry on your backs.

When the dust settles,
And you scoop up your wounded friend,
The two of them will leave the stadium,
Giving you time for your wounds to mend.

Famous Moehogs
By Indulgences

The Moehog's sometimes overlooked
In lieu of other, rarer pets.
But Moehogs are illustrious!
They need no golden statuettes!

There's "Scrap" Taggert who Yooyuballs
As Centre Defence for his team.
Tyrannia is fortunate
To have him playing so supreme!

There's Nitri Cassale, Pirate pet
Who plays for Krawk Isle's Left Defence.
She passes, guards, and tackles well
And flaunts her vast experience!

There's Agent Hog who's double-O
And always wears a stunning suit.
He plays at Cheat! with cool aplomb
And always finds a winning route!

There's Clop who plays the Cellblock game.
He's first in line as Prisoner One.
He's not too hard to beat and so
He's never known to say, "I won!"

Judge Hog is leader of a team,
Defenders of Neopia.
As head of that most useful group,
He safeguards every area!

More Moehogs fill our Neopets past
Than mentioned here in my small ode.
Go read some books and learn just why
Toward Moehog pets, much thanks is owed!

Total Poetry Pages : 2201

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