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SLOTH APPRECIATION DAY SPECIAL
Dr. Frank Sloth: Happy Sloth Appreciation Day
I woke up early one joyous day,
The world was peaceful, Neopets were at play.
A villain came out of nowhere, they say...
And zapped my pet with his giant ray!
I stared down at the pile of goo
At what used to be my Blumaroo!
And the villain? Away he flew
In a large spaceship -- see-through.
I ran as fast I could, you see,
I was outraged! As angry as could be!
The villain thought he'd succeeded; a victory
But little did he know, things could get nasty...
"Sloth! You're evil!" I cried out loud.
"It's what I do, and I'm perfectly allowed!"
"To turn pets into sludge? You shouldn't be proud."
And a fight ensued -- for hours we rowed.
The sun began to set, exhaustion was near.
The villain began to laugh, and then began to sneer.
I dragged him down, I grabbed his ear,
And there the villain shed a tear!
"Please understand, I'm Sloth, you know!
I'm evil, I'm witty, I'm completely psycho!
There's nothing I enjoy more than zapping, like so...
I'm going to rule Neopia: the worlds above and below!"
And what did this have to do with my pile of goo?
I just want my darling pet Blumaroo!
I got truly angry, I threw my shoe!
Sloth ducked... and zapped my pet back into a 'Roo.
All Sloth wants on this righteous day
Is appreciation from Neopia, and the worlds away.
He wants to zap pets with his beloved ray!
Now my poem is done... Happy Sloth Appreciation Day!
As if he's
Not all bad...
Is he? I wonder...
At what time, point, did
Always float his boat?
Let's think a bit.
Green as asparagus,
Everyone laughs at his skin.
Never did we think he would be hurt
I think that he just needs a really big hug,
Unless he's just an evil, mean... thing. Anyway,
Sloth is here to stay (for the time being, of course).
Advertisement for the Dr. Sloth Beanie
It's really quite stylish, you know.
Olive green and red are back in,
Trying it on once is all it takes.
You'll never wear any other hat again!
Perhaps it leaves you strangely empty,
But thinking was just troublesome.
No math problems or hard questions,
For your brain has just gone numb.
Waking up in strange new places,
No memory of what you just did --
Minor side effects, it's quite safe,
-cough- just do what the master bids.
So try on this Dr Sloth Beanie,
It's the greatest product you'll find!
'Cause Dr Sloth said so and he
Currently has control of my mind.
The Space Faerie's Flight ...Edit... Tribute to Sloth
The astral sky beckons her once more,
And with soft flight do her wings glide,
As the sun heats up with loving blaze,
The Space Faerie on a comet does ride.
She leaps, wings spread, throughout the night,
Her smile challenging the stars,
As she gazes upon Neopia below,
She senses the smiles that from afar...
Disruption -- Disruption,
Enter Admin Code -- Access to Poetry Contest,
Enter Key Code -- Icesmith's poem activated,
Edit -- Edit -- succeeded request.
What's this I see? Oh, how vile!
Another poem about that wretched old witch!
When I, Sloth, am the true space master,
The thought of her does make me twitch!
The orbit and solar, I control them all,
Each star does freeze at my glee,
And so I don't understand why you waste your time,
When you should be writing about me!
All of you think that I am a failure,
And at the Space Faerie's feet I do fall,
Yet with my amazing and unbeatable intellect,
My power she'll never enthrall!
And so I demand that you all do write,
Stories and poems galore,
Images of my power in every word,
Or I'm afraid your pens will be no more!
So get to work, I have no time,
My hacking program has almost run out,
But don't think I have left your poems for long,
As I will be back to correct, no doubt!
Disruption fixed, poem restored,
Warning -- corrupted: All, Safe: None,
Warning -- Danger -- Warning --
Exploding in three, two, one...
Dr. F. S.
He sits cloaked in the shadow
Of a repute gained
Through ill and wicked deeds --
The tales have faded to legend now:
Of a Lucky Coin, of a fight to
Defeat the star-winged Space Faerie,
Of Evil Sloth Clones
And Grundos two-toed.
He sits cloaked in the shadow
Of infamy self-generated,
Of notoriety self-created
By actions vile and projects despicable,
Or so the story goes.
He sits cloaked in the shadow
Of the ghosts of crimes
Of the consciousness
Of the guilt --
Could light but pierce it,
Could remorse, could forgiveness
But separate this myth
From the reality --
Until then the shadow-cloak
Cuts black against a star-filled sky
And he turns his back to a world
That has turned its back on him.
An Ode to Dr. Sloth
Oh, Doctor Sloth, we Grundos love you so.
(At least, we love to splat you as a sock.)
Our smart, wise leader; what do you not know?
(Though frankly, Sloth, you're dumb as any rock.)
All Grundos live to serve your every whim
(But only if we have no other choice.)
And your appearance! Oh, how svelte and slim!
(Your hair's almost as awful as your voice.)
We love you, Sloth, our leader bold and true
(Yeah, one who led us twice into defeat.)
There's no one we admire more than you.
(Spitting in your food would be a treat.)
Although you now are captured in a token,
(Thank goodness that you aren't here anymore!)
Our reverence for you has not been broken.
(It can't be broken if it wasn't there before.)
So here's to you, Sloth, we're forever yours.
(I'll hate you always, and that is my oath.)
We'll be behind you, whatever is in store.
(So, in conclusion, I say "Down with Sloth!")
Dr. Sloth Appreciation Day
Wandering around the Virtupets Space Station,
You are filled with fearful hesitation,
Tiptoeing quietly around,
Trying hard not to make a sound
For the station is Dr. Sloth's home.
You grit your teeth to stifle your groan.
Dr. Sloth has many a mean and evil minion
and plans for Neopian dominion.
If he succeeds to rule,
He will do so with intentions cruel.
Dr. Sloth will ban all fun,
Laughing, smiling, giggling will be done.
All to his malicious will must bend,
To every whim we must attend.
To those who dare the Sloth defy,
I bid them a tearful goodbye,
For Dr. Sloth will not stop nor rest,
Until they finally wear his crest!
Dr. Sloth will his army send,
Their master's honour they will defend.
Dr. Sloth has another plan if all else fails,
If his clones and drones on him do bail,
He, himself, will show the world his mighty power
Until all at his feet do tremble and cower,
He will use his giant ray gun
Zapping everything in sight -- you'd better run!
January 14th is Dr. Sloth's special day,
You will learn the meaning of fear today.
The Sinister Clone
Replicated, heinous beast,
Who answers but to one.
A vicious tyrant rules the clones,
And shows mercy to none.
In thousands does the army march,
With one thought on each mind.
Do Sloth's bidding, do it well,
And never fall behind.
Destruction forged by Sloth's dark force,
They wreck all in their wake.
Loyalty to overlord,
Is one they shan't forsake.
Behind the hordes that stomp along,
Within the shadow's grasp.
A figure clothed in onyx coat,
"Now onward!" does he rasp.
What better shape than Sloth himself,
To conquer all who stand?
A gathering of cloned monsters,
All guided by his hand.
Duplicates who won't ask why,
Or question his demand.
They'll bow to orders, do his will,
And jump at his command.
Who would forge this evil crew?
Why, Sloth himself, of course.
Invention horrid, yet again,
And he's always the source.
Vicious glee within his heart,
At army that he owns.
Know that Sloth will never stop,
And fear the wrath of clones!
Dr. Sloth Appears
In a dark place of solitude,
A scientist worked with pride.
Creating a race of living beings,
In Neopia they would reside.
Yet his astounding arrogance,
Lead to much disgrace.
When sunlight hit his pets,
They were gone without a trace.
Pacing among his wicked lair,
He grumbled at the loss.
Years of research a waste,
Thrown into perpetual chaos.
Suddenly the computer sounded,
The land began to change.
Grass and flowers abounded,
Life-forms furry and strange.
Sunlight burned his skin,
In shadows he was kept.
Yet this world flourished,
Wherever the light stepped.
Overthrown by his ego,
Creeping forth once more,
Sloth had a brilliant idea,
That he just could not ignore.
A malevolent smile appeared
As Sloth relaxed in his chair.
Perhaps this place had promise,
A place to spread his despair.
Sloth Day Has Been Cancelled
I am dearly sorry to inform,
Your day has been removed.
We heard about your scheming plan,
And we feel betrayal is quite rude.
We have since hacked into the calendar,
It no longer will spotlight your name.
We really are disappointed,
You have brought us minions shame.
We passed out all of your fliers,
Despite the snow and sleet.
We even bought you Bloat-Be-Gone,
For when you have had too much to eat.
We did all that you asked of us,
And what did you go and do?
You locked us out of our living quarters,
And built a throne anew.
We saw your new abode,
I'll admit it is fitting for such a guy.
But really, Sloth, what did you expect?
You know we will not tolerate another lie.
So Sloth, ol' buddy, ol' pal,
For you, no one will shout hooray,
Today has now been renamed for us.
Happy Sloth's Ex-Minion Day!
Total Poetry Pages : 1984
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