Everyone in the entire neighbourhood thought Stenchpit the Lupe was the worst neighbour
anyone could ever have. He had broken Battledome junk parts and dirty clothes piled up on his front lawn, his garden
was full of disgusting weeds, his NeoHome was a complete pigsty, his trash bins were filled to the rim with rotten food
and spilling onto the street, and, oh boy, did the guy ever smell! Those close to him say they'd rather furnish their
house in wall-to-wall dung than have him over for dinner. You know, he didn't get the name Stenchpit for nothing...
Author: Neopets Staff|
Date: 4 Mar.
...but little did they know that he was actually 00 Hog, the one and only. His disguise as an incredibly stinky Lupe
was to protect his secret identity. Every night, the Moehog would unzip his Lupe Costume and snuggle deep into his
sleeping mat, of course, with a noseplug on.
No one ever suspected that Stenchpit was actually a secret agent, until one day he was eating a bowl of cereal and
he heard a knock on the door.
"Hog!" a hoarse voice called out, "Come out here now, or we'll force this door down!"
"Oh no! What do I do?" thought the Moehog Agent.
"All right!" shouted the voice as the door popped out of its socket.
There, in the doorway stood...
Date: 4 Mar.
...Malkus Vile, the most sinister Skeith ever to walk the face of Neopia and his two cronies, the infamous Brown
"Hog, where are you?!" shouted Malkus, walking into the television room. Quickly, 00 Hog darted up the stairs and
into the bedroom. He could hear Malkus and the Meercas in the kitchen now, breaking glasses and opening cupboards
"Oh, where is that Lupe costume?" 00 Hog thought to himself. He searched around behind the smelly clothes for the
costume, but still couldn't find it. Just then, his nose perked up to a strong odor of smoke. "That smells like...
FIRE!" 00 Hog wheeled around to see his Moltenore holding the Lupe Costume.
"No!" he yelled. "Put it down! You'll burn it! Quickly, put--" But he was too late. In an instant, the Lupe Costume
caught on fire and burnt down in ashes. Thinking of ideas, 00 Hog heard Malkus crashing up the stairs. He had to
hurry or he would be caught, weaponless! Suddenly, 00 Hog thought of an idea. He darted into his closet and rummaged
through, finally emerging with a large radio.
"Rolanda, come in! Rolanda!" he yelled into it, pressing a button. He was speaking to Rolanda Sinister, a baddie
turned good. Suddenly, a crackled voice responded. "Listen, just come to my house QUICKLY! And round up the old crew
while you're at it..."
Date: 4 Mar.
...seconds ticked away and sweat started to form on 00 Hog's forehead. He turned his bedroom upside down trying to find
something to protect himself but to no avail. "Bang" went the door and 00 Hog turned to face the hoodlums. 00 Hog sighed
in defeat as he knew there was no escape.
When his spirits were at the lowest, he caught something at the corner of his eye. His reaction to the turn of events
was like clockwork. Bending his head he lunged and hit Malkus Vile, knocking him to his feet.
A scuffle broke out between the Meerca brothers and a lightning quick figure. Within a second, a hand grabbed 00 Hog.
"I knew I could count on you..."
Date: 5 Mar.
The Gelert coughed appreciatively and tried to look serious. "We've got a real case on our paws, Agent 00, but don't
forget, I'm a secret agent. Don't expose my cover again."
00Hog looked down. "Sorry, Agent 99."
Huckpaw chuckled. "Don't worry. Now, let's get these criminals tied up! Then we can discuss our next move."
Silently, Malkus was whispering into a radio. "Back-up. NOW!" His head throbbed, but he kept still.
00Hog and Huckpaw were looking for some rope. They were planning their course of action while they searched, talking
loud enough so they couldn't hear the sound of Malkus scraping his belly off the floor, the "Yowch!" as he stumbled,
or the "Heh heh heh," as he got back up.
Sirens screeched. "Must be more back-up," 00 Hog muttered.
Just then, Malkus' cronies were entering the room. "You're right!" Malkus roared. "There is back-up! My back-up!"
They began circling the Agents, ready to strike at any moment, and deep down in their hearts, 00 Hog and Huckpaw
knew they would never escape...
Date: 5 Mar.
...so 00 Hog and Huckpaw decided to just play along with it.
"We surrender, so whatcha gonna do now?" the pair taunted.
Malkus was tad dim (a result of being thrown out of the Academy as a youngster because of recurring, reckless
behaviour) so he revealed his quite cleverly complex plan, obviously evilly devised by the Meerca Brothers. Now 00 Hog and
Huckpaw weren't a dumb bunch, as soon as Vile started speaking, they were clinging to every word! At this point they knew
EVERYTHING that was supposed to happen to the pair for the next two weeks! They conferred using a secret signalling
system devised for agents to use in times of great danger, just like this, and they had agreed on several spots where
they thought there could be opportunities of escape when suddenly the Meerca Brothers swung straight into action with
the first step of "The Plan", and our brave captives knew there was an opportunity in the moments ahead, when a knock at
the door came. "Stenchpaw, are you there? It's your neighbour...
Date: 6 Mar.
She pounded on the door again. "When are you ever going to give me back the Neopoints you borrowed? I've been waiting
for weeks!!!" 00 Hog shrugged and looked over at Huckpaw.
"Oh, Spyder legs!" Malkus hushed the Meerca Brothers. "Why not add another one to our list?" Quickly they turned the
handle and snatched Mrs. Ergyfruit, even with her nice Asparagus Cake.
"What's going on here?" Bewildered, she looked about the messy room.
"Don't worry Mrs. Ergyfruit!" 00 Hog smiled as her terrified face turned into a face of awe.
"Stenchpit? Is that you??? You look different." She nearly fell back on her little Usul tail...
Date: 6 Mar.
...But she was a bright Usul and quickly caught on. She should have known, the late night arrivals, the huge radio
transmitter coming out of the roof, the zipper on the costume. The rest of it pieced together as she noticed the framed
"Secret Service School" certificate on the wall, this Skeith must be trying to attack Stenchpit!
She remained frozen for a few more seconds whilst the Skeith shouted orders to his cronies. She eyed the small gun that
was balancing on the kitchen counter and nodded. Brining her arm quickly forward she elbowed the Skeith in the stomach,
taking him off guard before high kicking him in the head. He fell heavily into the far wall and Mrs. Ergyfruit leaped
into the air grabbing her gun and aiming it at the two startled cronies who quickly ran out of the door dragging their
unconscious boss with them.
"Mrs. Ergyfruit!" 00 Hog breathed in awe.
She turned around and flashed a broad smile. Before she could open her mouth though they all froze as they heard...
Date: 7 Mar.
...Mrs. Ergyfruit exclaimed, "I'm a secret agent, too. I'm really Agent 22457183."
"No... no wonder I've never heard of you! You must be in The Really Long Numbers Class," Stenchpit replied, confused.
"Yeah... we work more with The Double Numbers Class, so we don't see you much," Mrs. Ergyfruit said, winking at the
"Well, the two of you are very lucky that I showed up. If you truly want to show your gratitude, I would recommend
coming with me, like the nice little agents that you are," Mrs. Ergyfruit instructed, smiling sweetly.
"Come with you where?" Agent Huckpaw asked.
"To the police station. You both are under arrest." And before either of the agents could move a muscle, Agent 22457183
had them handcuffed.
"Wha-what did we do?" Stenchpit asked, now even more confused than before.
"You are much wanted double-agents. The NeoCrimes Association has requested that I come to, well, to put it simply, and
relieve you of your duties. Come right along, now..." she said, winking again.
"But what about all these people in my house?" Stenchpit asked, not catching on to the plan.
All the while, Malkus Vile and his minions were wondering the same thing. "Um, excuse me, Mrs. Ergyfruit," Malkus Vile wondered,
"but we were here before you. It's called first dibs."
Everyone looked at each other and wondered what the next move would be...
Date: 7 Mar.
..."First dibs!?" Mrs. Ergyfruit exclaimed. "What on earth do you mean! And anyways they have strong charges against
them, and they'll probably serve capital punishment. You don't have to worry about them. If you kill them now you will
get in trouble with the law you know..." For some odd reason she kept winking at the two spies.
"Erm, is there a problem with your eye?" Malkus asked.
"Erm, yes I have a bad eye. It dries up very quickly so I need to keep winking."
"Oh," they all said
"Okay, well, I guess I'll let you two go..." Malkus said with a sly look.
"We better get going then. These two have to be taken before the court."
The Mrs. Ergyfruit took the two out of the house, but the Meercas had a funny feeling about the whole thing. "Why don't we
follow them and...
Date: 8 Mar.
...see what's going on?" they asked Malkus.
"Oh, no need boys, that Mrs. Ergyfruit has it all under control. Even though she's sweet outside, she's a real
"But Boss, she seems pretty suspicious, and-"
"No buts," said Vile. "She knows what she's doing. After all, Usuls are very smart creatures."
The helpless Meercas stared at each other and shrugged. "Okay then, hows about we go to the Smoothie Shop and
"Wonderful idea," said the Skeith. "Let's go."
"No Boss. We'll go and you guys hang around here for a little bit. We'll be back in no time." The Meercas grinned
at each other, coming up with a sinister plan, knowing exactly what the other one was thinking.
"Okay, then. It's settled!" cried Vile, seeming unusually pleased with himself and his cronies. "Smoothies for
"Stop!" yelled 00Hog. He was writhing, trying to free himself from Mrs. Ergyfruit's grasp. She finally let go.
Suddenly all the pieces in the puzzle fit together. She had got them out of there unharmed!
"Uh, sorry there, Mrs. Ergyfruit, ma'am," he stuttered. Smooth move, he thought to himself. And in front of a LADY!
"No apologies, dear," she said quite understandingly. "Everyone makes mistakes."
Agent Huckpaw nodded to himself. Then everyone started talking about themselves and what was happening. Suddenly the
two Meerca Brothers burst through the brush.
"Stick 'em up!" they yelled in unison.
The trio backed up until they were cornered. Then someone else came through the bushes.
"HOLD IT!" she yelled.
Everyone stared. It was one of the staff members.
"This story is getting way too violent," she said, grabbing the gun from the Meercas. "The kids shouldn't be
reading this, so go now, shoo!"
The saddened pets trudged off. The staff member went away and Malkus Vile appeared.
"Hey, where's my smoothie?"
Date: 8 Mar.