It all started when Kharlos the Kacheek was little, when he was the same size
of the rest of his friends, a time when he was striving to be different from the rest of Neopia. Well, sadly
he turned to pizza and pies and joints of ham and chicken legs, until one day, a day when he couldn't see his
feet and could only see his belly in the mirror, he got very sad and ate ten tubs of ice cream because
he was feeling depressed... Then he sat down in his favourite chair, breaking it as if it was made of
toothpicks... well, it was then that he decided that enough was enough, so he put down his spoon and said,
"It's time for me to go on a strict diet and a tough exercise regimen. I think I'll start tomorrow..."
Author: Neopets Staff|
Date: 1 October
...Morning rolled around. He awoke to a grumble of his big belly. Licking his lips, he thought of all the
goodies that he could have for breakfast... an Omelette dripping with cheese, maybe... but then he remembered
With a disappointed groan, he stood and ran a comb through his fuzzy blue fur. He walked down the stairs
(which creaked and cracked underneath him) and stepped into the kitchen.
He could smell all the delectable goodies hidden behind the shelf doors which all seemed to be calling out
to him, "Kharlos, we tast so good!"
Kharlos shook his head and closed his eyes. "No!" he called angrily. Kharlos pulled open the refrigerator
door and grabbed an apple. He munched on it, threw the core away, and marched out of the kitchen.
But the temptation was too strong. Kharlos turned back to the kitchen, threw open the doors to the shelves
and refrigerator and munched contently on his favourite foods: boxes of cookies, cakes, chicken, ham, and
gallons of Neocola. He leaned back on his chair and gave a tiny burp of contentment, then moaned when he
realised what he had done...
Date: 1 October
..."I gotta stop doing this!" he yelled at himself as he got up and went up stairs to the bathroom. "The diet
starts....now!" Kharlos got on to his scale and read aloud:"253 pounds! Man! This will take me weeks to come
down!" He looked down longing to see his feet and decided, "I WILL get down to the normal Kacheek weight by....."
he looked at his calendar, "My birthday! I have enough time to do this! Hehehhe...look out Neopia! Here comes the
NEW Kharlos! The much lighter Kharlos. For my birthday, I only want one gift--to see my feet..."
Date: 1 October
..."The first thing I'm gonna do is...*gulp* exercise, that's right yeah, I'm gonna go
jogging!" So Kharlos went to his closet to find his most suitable jogging outfit. Unfortuantely
all he found was a pair of shorts that were kinda snug, a too tight tee-shirt, and a pair of
shoes, that he wasn't sure would even fit seeing as he hasn't seen his feet for ages. "That's
all going to change though," he said, "First thing's first...stretching out my uh...muscles."
Kharlos started by bending to touch his toes...however, he only got about as far as his stomach.
"Oh well maybe I should start out by doing some sit-ups," he said. Kharlos lowered himself
down to the floor and...."1...gasp...2...pant...3 no more!" he yelled. "I can't do this by
Kharlos had finally realised that the time had come to call in a professional...
Date: 2 October
...so he went and wrote a Neomail to "So You're Fat" on Mystery Island. It said:
Dear "So You're Fat" Instructor:
Please, I need your help. I weigh 253 pounds! I tried my own training program, but
it just isn't enough to work this off. I need a professional. Help me, please. We can
discuss payment if someone comes here, because I certainly can't get there.
After that was done, Kharlos sent the Neomail, hoping that it would reach the agency soon...
Date: 2 October
...The next day he received a letter:
Dear Mr. Kacheek:
Your situation is an emergency requiring IMMEDIATE attention, I AM assuming that you CANNOT
see your feet?! I am sailing over to you ASAP! So be ready.
Buffaroo, Fitness Instructor Extraordinaire
As soon as he looked up from the letter, there came a knock on the door. Kharlos peeked
out of the window and saw a very large muscular Blumaroo standing at his doorstep with a small
black leather briefcase. He opened the door, and before he could say a word, Buffaroo blew
into the living room. He looked Kharlos up and down. "MMMM HM!! Just as I thought."
"What?! Kharlos exclaimed frantically. "What do you think?! Am I going to make it?!"
Buffaroo gave him a funny look. "I'm not a DOCTOR, I am a fitness instructor Extraordinaire,
and I THINK that you need a strict fitness and diet plan. From the briefcase he withdrew a
large, glossy manual which read on the cover "So you're FAT!" Next, he pulled out some
dumbbells, a barbell, a treadmill, and a stationary bike.
Kharlos blinked. He asked, "How did all of that fit in there?"
"Never mind that!" Buffaroo said impatiently. "We have to start right now!!! 253 pounds
is a LOT of weight to lose!!!"
Buffaroo handed Kharlos a pair of dumbbells...
Date: 3 October
...Kharlos tried to lift the dumbbells. "Geez how much do these weigh?? They feel so heavy!"
"Those dumbbells weigh exactly .0000001 pounds. You should be able to lift those with out
any trouble. You can lift them, can't you?" Buffaroo asked.
"Ummmmmm... sure I can lift them! No problem at all!" said Kharlos without much enthusiasm.
Kharlos tried to pick up a dumbbell. He couldn't pick them up off the floor. "You really
are in bad shape!" exclaimed Buffaroo. "Let's try something easier. Let's go to the
"Okay," said Kharlos. "I know I can walk on a treadmill."
He got started going 3 miles per hour. Then Buffaroo slowly increased the speed to five
miles per hour. Kharlos walked a half of a mile before he collapsed and slid off the treadmill.
"That was a good start! We'll work on that later. Now, on to the bike. Hurry up!! We don't
have much time!"
Kharlos hopped (sort of) onto the bike. He started pedaling slowly, but then he caught his
"second wind" and started pedaling faster. He made it a whole mile before he stopped. "Great
job today Kharlos! We'll work more tomorrow. Get some rest and drink lots of water. We'll
work more tomorrow," said Buffaroo as he walked out the door.
"Bye, thanks a lot, Buffaroo!" yelled Kharlos as he collapsed onto the couch. "Wow, I'm
really tired. I better get to bed. Kharlos went upstairs, hopped into bed, and turned off
Date: 3 October
...The next morning came, and Kharlos felt like it had only been a blink of an eye.
He rose from his bed and noticed the bell ringing, he realised he had been woken up by it.
He groaned and looked at the time feeling a bit drowsy, he stumbled downstairs and...
The door flew open at once, Buffaroo was standing there with his dieting instruments ready.
"Now we'll pick up from yesterday. The dumbbells!"
This terrifying word echoed amongst the thoughts in his brain, he knew he could not do it but
he had to--it was the best way to lose all that weight he had put on, so without breakfast,
he tried the best he could...
Sweat was pouring from his face, muscles straining, a burning feeling all over his body, and with a
tight round squeeze around his tummy, he managed to bend over....Slowly, he grabbed, and he
heaved but no it was no use... this 0.0000001 pound dumbbell was to much for him to handle.
"Pretend they're delicious drumsticks!!" Buffaroo said, and at once Kharlos had enough energy
to lift it up, he could feel the power flowing through him, he knew at once this was the first
key to success--PRETEND EVERYTHING WAS FOOD. Kharlos glanced over at exercise bike, which began
to take on a familiar, tasty shape...
Date: 4 October
..."Mmmm, donuts..." he mumbled, saliva drooling out of his mouth. He hopped on to what he
thought were two donuts connected by vanilla frosting, and started pedaling two gigantic
"10, 35, 78, 100, 167 miles per hour! C'mon Kharlos!" Buffaroo was so overjoyed with Kharlos
new behaviour that he laid back on the couch to watch. He'll be fine, he thought to himself
as he closed his eyes...
"Buffaroo!" came a voice. "Buffaroo, wake up!" The Blumaroo opened his eyes at once.
"What happened?" he asked Kharlos.
"I'm done exercising!" he said happily.
"Really? Well, I guess I can go home early today!" Buffaroo got up and began to put his
things away when he realised that the bike and dumbbells were gone. "Where did the exercise
"Exercise equipment?" asked a confused Kharlos. Then Buffaroo noticed that Kharlos looked
rather chubbier than before. Around the sides of his mouth was some gooey black liquid, and
he when he shut his mouth, there was a loud crunching noise.
"Kharlos," said Buffaroo. "You didn't. Please say you didn't."
"Didn't what?" Then Kharlos noticed that Buffaroo's eyes were locked in the place where the
bike and dumbbells used to be. "OH! Didn't do that! What, were you saving them for dinner
Date: 4 October
...Buffaroo was astonished! How in the world had Kharlos managed to eat all of his equipment?
He knew that he was on to something but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
"Well," he said, "that is truly amazing! How could you have done that? I would have thought
your teeth would have cracked."
"Oh no," replied Kharlos, "I have very strong teeth. It runs in my family but mine are the
"I'll have to think about this," said Buffaroo, "but I think there has got to be something we
can do with this situation."
"Well, you keep thinking and I'll go find a post to munch on. All that exercising has made me
hungry. Time to snack!" Kharlos said as he headed off to eat.
Then it hit Buffaroo! He knew exactly what they could do with Kharlos and his strong teeth. He
ran after him to tell him.
"Ok, now this is what we're gonna do. We're gonna go on the road, join the circus. I can see the
headlines now...'Kharlos the Strong Toothed Wonder' now appearing in center ring! We can make
millions. What do you say?" asked Buffaroo...
Date: 5 October
..."I dunno", said Kharlos. He wished Bffaroo would leave so he could raid his kitchen. "C'mon
Kharlos! The circus puts you through rigorous training and exercise to get you fit for the shows.
You'll lose those extra pounds in no time!" said Buffaroo. "Please! Think of all the money you
could make! Think of all the weight you could lose!"
"Look, I'll think about it. Lemme sleep on it and I'll tell you tomorrow when you come over. Okay?"
said Kharlos. Feeling rather disappointed, Buffaroo managed a nod of approval.
That night, Kharlos had a dream. He dreamt that he was the star of the circus. Center ring. Millions of
people around him while he showed off his teeth. He could bend down, pick up the dumbbells with his teeth,
and he didn't have to strain or anything! He could actually touch his toes! He was so happy!
When Kharlos woke up, he knew what to do. When Buffaroo arrived, Kharlos made up his mind. "Buffaroo, I'm
gonna join the circus", he said. Buffaroo was so happy! He jumped around the room screaming and everything.
"But," he said, "only on one condition. I have to lose all this weight by my birthday."
"This could really pan out," Buffaroo said. "Let's see, 4 weeks until your birthday. If we start now, I
promise, you'll be able to see your feet by your birthday."
Four weeks later...
Kharlos and Buffaroo went down to where the circus was camped and enrolled Kharlos.
His first appearance (which happened to be on his birthday) was finally here. When he bent down, he could
see his toes! So, he picked up the barbell that was in front of him and crunched on it. The audience was
amazed. It was just like in his dream! And you know who was the happiest of all? Kharlos of course! He got
exactly what he wished for, to see his toes.
Date: 5 October